SWEET SADNESS

SWEET SADNESS

It was my first day in college.

The thought about the new world was not in me, but the memories of my school life were shining.

I have left my friends back, who were with me for past 12 years or more, who I thought know me than myself. My world was concentrated to small part.

    Now college, I am going to enter a strange world, where even I don’t know what will happen to myself. I kept my first step in college with right foot, stepped with a smile, but my heart was feeling as heavy as a big stone has kept on it.

Many thoughts were going through my mind; it’s all about my future, what I would be at the end of this college life, maybe I am a Stanger here at end of my course holding the certificate.

   It’s always the tendency of human being to understand what he doesn’t know. I felt everyone was having many abilities than me. There was something holding me from talking to the strange people, may be it’s my shyness or maybe it’s my ego.

                         I started with a small smile which had a lot of fear hidden inside, don’t know what to talk and on which subject.

Earlier I used to talk about nothingness, not knowing the meaning, not even caring about anything, things have changed, I cared about what strangers would feel about my being. May be the memories of strangers and me took us to the world of togetherness, separation and mixture of all feelings.

I searched for the reason of togetherness but found myself bond with a new relationship; don’t know what name should be given.

Together we laughed, cried and now realized that we were no longer strangers……

All know one other in their own way. For some I was friend and for some still unknown, some just entered and left myself alone.

The fear of exams has gone. We created reasons to celebrate, to cheer. Those small fights for nothingness were more important than anything. Relation here was touching heart fast but they were not long lasting….

Now started to make friends without even caring how long it will last, how far will it go….

   Sometimes I felt I was in a crowd and sometimes I was alone, Betrayed by everyone. Each day here was teaching a new lesson which I never understood. All talked about great things now, knowing nothing will change. We talked about changing the world to our own but were changing as the world wanted. Together we took many decision but never worked for that…..

CRY FOR MERCY

Everyone has their own ambitions in life and their parents
help them to achieve their goals.
Like all others I also have my own ambitions.
My parents want me to be a slave of them and want me to do
everything they said. But I don’t like to be a slave. My
parents always wanted me to study all the time and get
good marks in all subjects.
They used to make me discourage whenever I showed my talents
saying that “this is not a great thing and you
could not get marks”.
I have thought of ending my life several times, but I
change my mind saying that life is only once
and it's given to you by
God and he has only right to end it.
No one is tying to understand me.
I am not able to get an answer
why my parents are treating me like this?
I have got everyone if you look from outside,
but no one is able to
give me what I want…. A little mercy…….

DO I DESERVE THIS WORLD

DO I DESERVE THIS WORLD

I have been living here for past 22 years, in which each moment I have been cheating all my well-wishers. In fact I have been cheating myself. From the day I was born I have been taking others things which they can’t refuse me.
My mother suffered 10 months keeping me as a part of her body. And after my birth I made her suffer by taking her milk. She made many actions to just see my laughs, She cared for me, Her eyes were open, when even the day went for rest. My sleeping was enough for her. She taught me how to speak, how to walk and how to love.
My mother gave me everything what she had and now what I am giving her in return? Now my anger teaches her what I need. Now her nights are sleepless not watching me, it’s taken away by my actions.
My father, who has spend his blood and swept for my happiness. He had never asked me what I want; he gave me everything he had. He never showed his love but made feel it.
Now it’s my turn and I gave him a lot of bad names. Now for my games he spends his tears. Now I give him sorrows which he never asked, and never wanted. He dreamed me touching the sky, now finds himself in sea.
My friend tells me a lot about them and me. They care me but I tell myself about to be selfish. They give everything for friendship and I spend everything for me. My teachers taught me what they know, and I taught them what they never wanted to learn.
Now I understand what life was about, it has just got suffering and if the world had mouth would say “I won’t carry such kind of people anymore who only knows to cheat”.

blindness

BLINDNESS

“I wished at least I could see myself”.

Everyone has their own problems, which changes from time to time. When the problem one has is discussed with others, it gets solved or else, at least the others can give a solution for it.

I too have a problem, actually it’s not a problem, and it’s my weakness. When I share it with my friends, they just change the topic.  

My problem is that, for my eyes everything is dark. I never know whether its darkness that loves my eyes or it’s my eyes that love darkness.

My surroundings, all my friends, all look the same for me. From the day I have started to understand things, I have been hearing that I am just like others and can do all things, which others of my age do.

I have heard from many that I am blind, when I ask them what they mean; some says “there is beautiful worlds around me were colour play an important role.

I don’t know whether they are saying the truth or if they are fooling me. As we all believe there is God, till now no one has seen him. I too believe what others say that everything has its own colour .For me God and colour are same.

Everyone has been hearing about God from childhood. So all believe in him. In fact its heard from the day one is born, in the same way all are saying about the world to me.

I feel everyone is fooling me, all are same as me and others are just saying their imaginations to me, about the world that I can’t see.

But I always think ,will everyone cheat me, will there be anyone in this world with a little mercy or am I blind as others say…..